i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
