Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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