I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
