Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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