two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
