ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
