I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did I show you my penis last night?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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