I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
