I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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