and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
