you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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