Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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