Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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