Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
