drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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