We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
