Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You have to summon your inner elephant
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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