Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
