Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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