I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
