i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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