as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
