I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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