So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
