I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
