Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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