Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize