I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
