I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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