I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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