whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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