I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
