My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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