don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
