why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
