C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
