I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You made out with two different species that night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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