I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
