drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I fill condoms, not promises.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
