We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
