Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
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he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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