so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
