I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
