What a fucking waste of an outfit
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
