sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
