Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
