meet me or not, i'm out of control
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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