the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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