I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I had to cum in my sink.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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