Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
