I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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