Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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