...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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