apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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