I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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