Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
