how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
