i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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