I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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