singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
