My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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