i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
