the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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