Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
