; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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