Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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