i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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