i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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