and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
