I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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