I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
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