i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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