omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
