There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
